I Dont Know Can You Joke

JOKES

	In that location's a well-known joke: a adult female is driving down a motorway and her husband phones her on her mobile. 'Darling, be careful!' he screams. I've just heard in that location's a car driving the wrong way on the motorway near where you are.' 'It'southward not merely i car.' she says. 'there are hundreds of them!'

	And here's some other 1: a human being is driving his daughter and they are stuck in traffic. The lilliputian daughter says, 'I have a question.' 'What is it?' asks her father. 'When you lot're driving, are You lot ever the stupid idiot?'

	Jones! Tin can you tell the grade how y'all spell elephant? - E-50-Due east-F-A-North-T, sir. The lexicon spells it East-50-E-P-H-A-N-T. - But, sir, y'all didn't enquire me how the dictionary spelt it!.

	A daughter was standing in the middle of a busy road. A concerned man went up to her and said: - Is everything all correct? Aye, said the young girl. Tin yous tell me how I tin can become to the local hospital? The man looked at the daughter in the middle of the road. - Aye. Just stay right where you are! he said.

	- Do you know what vegetarian cannibals eat. - No. What could they possibly eat? - Swedes!

	- Exercise you know what the time is if your clock strikes 13? - Time to become a new clock!

	- Do you know where your mother is? - She'due south round at the front. - I know what she looks like, I want to know where she is!

	An Anerican tourist walked out of his hotel in the middle of the Sahara Desert. He was wearing nothing just his swimming trunks and carrying his embankment towel. A local human being came along on his camel and the American said: - Can you lot tell me where the body of water is? - It's nearly 100 kilometres from hither, said the Arab. - Now, this is what I call a beach, said the American.

	A chemistry teacher was testing his students. - At present. Does anybody know what the chemic formula for water is? - H-I-J-M-Fifty-M-N-O, sir. - What exercise you mean? - Well, my dead said information technology was H to O.

	- Smith, can you tell me what kind of insect a slug is? - Er... a snail with a housing trouble, sir?

	- Collins, you lot did say you lot wanted yesterday off piece of work because you were seeing your dentist, weren't you? - That's right, sir. - Merely didn't I see you coming out of the movie theater in the afternoon with a friend? - That was my dentist, sir!

	- Madam, you've put too many stamps on this letter. - Oh, honey, it won't get further than I want it to, will information technology?

	A car knocked a pedestrian down. - What's the matter with you lot? shouted the pedestrian. Are you blind? - What do you lot mean - bullheaded? said the commuter. I hit you, didn't I?

	- I don't want a car. I need a cow, said the farmer. - Y'all tin't ride a cow through the town heart, can yous? said the salesman. - True. But I can't milk a new automobile, can I? replied the farmer.

	- Maria, you're an identical twin, aren't you? - Yes. - How does your mother tell y'all apart? - That's easy. My blood brother has a moustache.

	- My doctor says I tin't play tennis. - Oh, so he has playes with you too, hasn't he?

	- Doctor, come up quickly. - What's the problem? - We can't go into our house. - It'due south not actually a task for a doctor, is it? - I call back it is. My baby swallowed the forepart door key.

	- Why do people always out the right shoe on first? - I don't know. - Well, it would exist lightheaded to put the wrong shoe on, wouldn't it?

	- I've never flown before, said the nervous lady to the pilot. Y'all will bring me down safely, won't you? - All I tin can say, madam, is that I've never left anybody upwards there notwithstanding.

	Mary told her father that she and her fellow, Harry, wanted to get married. - So, said Mary's father. You want to get my son-in-law, don't you? - Non really, but I don't have much option, do I?